the reframe

lately i have had a lot of conversations with people about my {mis}perception of myself. particularly surround this belief:

i am shy.

yet, no one believes it. all my laramie friends challenge me on this, insisiting that shyness is impossible for me. one friend burst out laughing when i first told her i think of myself in this way. she thought i was being sarcastic, which admittedly, i often am. never-the-less, my shyness is real, despite my ability to have a conversation with a perfect stranger about just about anything.

i found this lovely little cartoon via pintrest that made me laugh. perhaps my ability to talk with strangers makes it difficult for people to believe i am shy. but i am telling you, i am incredibly introverted. just misunderstood.

 

we have a whole bunch going on right now, brandon especially. he defended his master's thesis yesterday {& was amazing!} & leaves for his PhD field work monday. he isn't complaining about spending the next three weeks in his kayak in jackson though--for his PhD research project he picked an awesome location & means of data collection. 

hibernation preperation

wow, summer has flown by so quickly & i have yet to post. somehow i thought grad school was the culprit; turns out i am just lazy. or busy. let's go with busy.

i am continuing to work at the hospital, which i am head-over-heels in love with. seriously, this is my place in the world!

i am also working at the university, as a faculty member for the division of social work. the title feels a little fraudulent as i am certain i don't know enough to be a faculty member, but apparently they thought i was qualified. i haven't been on campus much this summer due to vacation, visitors, & lots of hours at ivinson. i hope to catch up and feel a bit more competent soon.

in other news... we are working hard to buy a house. we know we are going to be here at least 4 more years so paying rent for that long seems like a waste of time & money. based on mortgage calculators we thought we could get into something soon for a reasonable monthly payment. turns out those calculators don't factor in insurance, taxes, etc. so we are further out in the process than we hoped. we are going to do a dave-ramsey-overhaul of our budget in order to squirrel away a bit more money for our down payment. hopefully there will be lots of free things going on around us in the next few months.

one of the ways we decided to save money was to disconnect our home internet service. it jumped to $60 a month so it felt ridiculous. hopefully we can put that extra money into our home savings account each month. in addition, we both have bad habits of spending way too much time on the internet in the evenings & on the weekends. we are optimistic that eliminating this distraction will result in more productivity, interaction, & time outside. it is quite embarrassing to admit how much time we spend on the internet. plus i have an iPhone now so we can check emails regularly. we may blog even less {is that possible?} in the next few months but by the time we are back on the internet at home we should be into our own house so we will have lots to blog about.

any advice from those who have venture ahead of us on this long strange trip of home buying is welcomed!

spring break, part II

our trip was the maiden voyage for the van-turned-mini-rv. we had a few things "undone" but i wanted to test it out before we sunk much more time {& $} into the thing so we only did the work we needed. 

i was plesantly surprised! it was really comfortable for sleeping & i didn't have the oh-my-goodness-get-this-stinky-dog-out-of-my-face-cramped-feeling i often have when we camp out of the outback. we have since finished up a few loose ends so we need to get the photos up of that transformation. overall, we are stoked about this thing!

we feel like the van needs a name, but we just can't come up with one we agree on. we are taking suggestions...

let my bed head speak for the comfort of this van! :) 

 justin was kind enough to ride behind me because
i was really freaked out about the reports of a cougar in the
area & since i am so slow i was the most likely cougar-bait candidate.

 of course the guys found some sweet jumps.
brandon above, justin below.

 we followed the guide book and trail markings, but somehow we
still managed to come out on air force land. total oops!
this was the first warning we saw so i am not sure we came
upon it backwards. we neither saw nor heard anything of interest.

 pretty southwest sunset.

 the rv in action!

harvey is also fond of the van because he can stand
between the two front seats & rest his head on the dash.
he was in a cast for the whole trip so this was
about as exciting as his day got.

brandon wanted a picture of them & their cars looking "hardcore."
i just don't know how hardcore a van can possibly look.

we had an awesome time with justin & it was hard to part ways. from albuquerque he headed back to texas & we went north to the four corners/mesa verde area. mesa verde is an amazing national park! it was a trek off the beaten path, but totally worth it!

the cliff dwellings were mind-blowing.

we couldn't believe how well they remained intact. 

it was fascinating.

after mesa verde we booked it up to moab where we met my friend megan & brandon rode slick rock. i'll get those photos up soon. for now, off to work at one of my new jobs...

rewind: spring break, part I

we had such an amazing spring break trip this year, but that was nearly two months ago & i have yet to document it. life has been busy, but it is slowing down for me as it picks up the pace for brandon. of course. 

on our trip we drove down to palo duro, texas, which is outside amarillo. now, i am not fond of much of texas; austin & port aransas are the the only parts i have fond feelings for, but west texas is especially awful to me. flat & ugly. but that makes the beauty of palo duro all the more incredible. the ground falls away without warning into this beautiful canyon. justin recommended we meet there & we loved it. it was full of awesome mountain bike trails--even my favorite trail EVER. 

from there we headed to new mexico. we stayed the night at a state park, but didn't do much exploring. we did feast on justin's amazing jalapeno dip & enjoyed (cold) showers. after that we drove on to albuquerque. a friend from the hospital recommended a couple things to do in the area since they recently moved from there to laramie. one of those things was ride the tram to the top of sandia peak. it was incredible! we had wonderful views of the valley and the mountain-top was beautiful. plus we had a great lunch at the summit. by far one of the best "touristy" things i have done in my life. i took a ton of photos on the gondola ride, in part to ignore my minor discomfort with heights.

rock totem

view of albuquerque & beyond

so beautiful

brandon was about two steps ahead of the tram operator in
explaining the geologic features.

i can't believe i got brandon & justin to act out the
titanic scene for me! glad i captured it!

stone house at the tippy-top of the peak, built by the CC

headed down.

passing the other tram on its way up.

barely a breeze. (yeah right.)

view of the lights of albuquerque from our
camp spot outside of town.

more pictures to come....

recap

the defense has been over for a couple of weeks, but i still don't feel "done" with grad school. it took about two hours for the knot in my stomach to loosen after my defense meeting. i passed! {whew!} i had a few corrections that took longer than i would have liked but they made my findings more significant. i will work on getting my thesis converted to a journal article & submit that this summer with hopes of getting published.

i finished my practicum at the hospital this last week by attending the national kidney foundation clinical meeting/conference in las vegas. despite my disdain for the sin city that should not exist in the middle of the desert, i traveled there for the second time in seven months. it was a great conference & confirmed my interest in nephrology social work, both with patients on dialysis & awaiting transplant. i am looking into a few jobs in the field & hope to have good news on that front soon.

i do have a job now though. i got hired on PRN {translation: "per request as needed" or on-call} at the hospital. i am really excited about this opportunity! i got the job without even interviewing, although brandon thinks i had a four month interview with my internship. i will cover for three people at the hospital & cancer center, filling in when they are sick or take vacation time. plus i will cover one weekend of call per month. the pay is lovely but there won't be enough work so i am on the hunt for something else. i think of this job as a foot in the door as it will place me first in line to be hired for the next social work opening. 

brandon is working furiously on his thesis & should be done this summer, just in time to jump into his PhD program. we are both excited about his new advisor who is a great mentor & friend to brandon. plus his research area will be the snake river in jackson, so it won't be hard to do research in the shadow of the tetons! 

he was awarded "graduate student of the year" for the geology department last week. {luckily he doesn't read the blog often to know i am bragging on him--he would be so embarrassed!} brandon shared the award with a good friend of ours that is the most diligent worker we have ever known, so it was a compliment to be considered equal with him. 

as i have said in the past few posts, i will get pictures up soon. just when i think i am done with school stuff another thing comes along. like exit loan counseling, which they told us about today and must be complete by friday or we don't graduate. thanks for the advanced notice.

d-fence?

tomorrow is my big "judgement" day: i have my oral defense of my thesis. 

i remember being a kid talking with my friend about going to college and writing a thesis. i really don't know how we knew such things existed, but i distinctly recall declaring to her that i was going to write one. although in those days, i probably also thought i was going to be president and find a cure for cancer. 

i am, of course, getting progressively more stressed out as 9AM mountain standard time approaches. if i had kept it simple and only included my committee in this meeting i don't think i would be as anxious, but i included friends and family. what was i thinking? i just keep imagining how awkward it is going to be to have brandon in the audience. give me a room full of strangers to talk to at length about oncology social work, just not the person i love and trust most in the world. ridiculous i know. 

i don't have fears of failing my defense, i just have fears of blubbering in front of my husband and friends. apparently you don't get to the point of your defense if you are unlike to pass. fingers crossed. 

hopefully my days of being a cheerleader will prepare me for this moment (haha) and i can just turn on a public persona of confidence and enthusiasm. i never thought i would find a way that being a cheerleader would help me through grad school, but i think this just might be the contribution! i'll try not to pull out any pom-poms or "ready? o-k"s. :)

i am optimistic that once this thesis business is behind me i can get back to the blog. i have a whole spring break trip to chronicle after all! for now, i just needed to vent and get my fears out on paper the internet. 

graduation, round II

brandon & are both going to graduate this may, which will be chaotic & fun--running from my ceremony at 8:30am to his at noon & then to my social work department party after that. sometimes i think, bah, who needs all this ceremonial stuff? asking people to sit through this boring events makes me question attending even more. 

but my dad is coming out, per his demand to see us both graduate. we were shocked that anyone wanted to make the long journey here just to see us wear funny outfits & be hooded, but my dad was adamant that of course he was coming! so we are doing this whole pomp & circum-whatever bit on may 6. i don't think i will regret it afterwards, although the running around in heels on the day of may drive me a tinge batty.

i am worried it will also feel like a sham. there is no way in the current time-space continuum we occupy that brandon nor i will be done with our theses until the end of may. which means we are going to walk across the stage, get that silly little {empty} book, & have our advisors put our master's hoods over our heads knowing all-the-while that we aren't really done done. hmph.

the day of our wedding {almost 6 years ago now!!!} we found out that our friend & mentor who was officiating the ceremony may not have been current on his license. there was no turning back to find a legitimate pastor at that point, so we proceeded onwards with the ceremony & requiste form signing. we joked for a few months about our fraudulent ceremony, hoping the bureaucracy of the state of oregon wouldn't notice. we haven't heard from them since, so hopefully they haven't noticed {or it doesn't matter} because it would be awkward to have to go through that whole wedding business again. 

i think participating in our graduations might feel a little like our wedding, but this time instead of just worrying it might be a fake we will know it really is just a show. 

lately, lately

life has felt down-right crazy lately. i love my internship placement site more & more each day, but i feel like the rest of my life is spiraling out of control with busy-ness. for the record, i can't stand that feeling. it makes me have minor breakdowns on a regular basis. i have encountered some emotionally difficult situations at the hospital that i can't post about {HIPPA regulations rule my life these days}. the situations that involve babies & kids are the hardest, but also the richest. i am so happy i love my internship & that even on the worst of days i joyfully look forward to going back to work.

school on the other hand has been a royal pain. perhaps i am just checked out & experiencing a bout of "short-timer's syndrome" but i am over it. sadly, it doesn't look like i will have my thesis done on time. i hope i can be done by the end of may. fingers crossed.

i have been sewing a bit when i can. recently i recovered our old {read: disgusting} ironing board. i don't dread ironing near as much now that it looks fancy & new. i am in a 20-somethings quilt club so i think that ironing board & i are going be be close friends as i work on my newest project. 

i also recovered the boring strap on my camera with some fun fabric. i am hoping the whimsical, girly print will dissuade would-be thieves {including brandon}. 

two days after we got the legitimate check from domino's to cover harvey's vet bill we had another "harvey incident". brandon took him skiing in the backcountry, which he has done regularly all winter, & the two of them collided. the impact of brandon's skis on harvey's leg resulted in a severed achilles tendon for poor harvey boy. brandon & his friends had to fashion a dog splint & stretcher so they could carry him out. apparently the evac took over 4 hours. 

 

 

harvey had surgery to reattach the tendon & has to be in a full-length hard cast for 2 months. we are 3 weeks in & it is rough keeping him mellow. we got directions from the vet that said "no running, jumping, playing, or running free for minimum of 12 weeks." obviously the vet doesn't know our dog or his never-stop-playing-for-1/2-a-second personality. 

 

in other news... we are staying in laramie! brandon accepted an offer to do his PhD in watershed resource sciences {i think that is the right name...} so we will be living in laramie for the next 3-5 years. we are both excited about staying here for the next bit as we {mostly} adore our charming little town & love the friends we have made here. the only concern we have is about me finding a job here so i don't have to commute. we have been looking at homes for sale & plan to buy next fall/winter, depending on my job situation.

i hope to be able to post more regularly, but it is hard to get around to updating this blog when i should be doing homework or working on my thesis. my favorite professor would tell me to "stop shoulding on myself" though. :)

changes in 2011

last year i did my MSW internship at the VA, in the mental health department. i loved it there & have been on the lookout for openings at VA facilities across the country. it was great to understand a {huge} part of our society more & find a way to serve people who serve in the military. it was also eye-opening & humbling.

this year i am doing my final internship at the local hospital. i have wanted to work at this hospital since we moved to here & i feel fortunate to have this coveted internship position. i started this week, with a bit of anxiety & uncertainty about exactly what i would be doing there. medical social work is difficult to conceptualize & explain, yet i have been drawn to it for years.

i now know why it is difficult to understand... because the entire work day flies by in a rush, with a buzz of energy & need surrounding you at all times, while you try to problem solve everything in a patient's life that is impacted by their medical condition. essentially, our medical crises don't happen in a vacuum & the medical social worker's job {at least a portion of it} is to address the universe of issues & needs that surround admission to the hospital. health, illness, life, death, success & failure--it all happens every day in every hospital. now, i get to be part of it!

when i started the MSW program, i felt like the faculty made it their mission to dissuade my plans to work as a medical/oncology social work plans. i heard repeatedly that my goals would change as i went through the program. i feel proud to know with certainty that i wasn't wrong about my goals, despite my lack of knowledge. being in this internship placement confirms that the medical field is where i want to begin my career. 

2010 in pics

last night harvey got hit by a car. a dominos delivery car to be exact. right in front of our house. it was awful to watch the whole accident happen & not be able to do a single thing. somehow he managed to bounce off the car & run out of the way before being hit again. the dominos driver didn't stop after the accident, just kept right on driving. luckily the dominos manager was upset with his driver's misbehavior & insisted that we take harvey to the vet on their expense. harvey seems to be ok, although he is really stiff & we have to monitor his breathing because the x-rays showed fluid in his lungs. he now growls at the scene of the crime each time we are near the road so brandon & i are hopeful he learned his lesson. doubtful, but hopeful.

fearing the worst as we saw the whole accident play out before us, we are now especially grateful for the little guy. this gratitude inspired me to go through our 2010 photos & reminisce. it was a good year!

harvey loves to bound through the powder
whenever we go out for a ski.

a little fox that hung around our
neighborhood last winter.

one of brandon's many crazy adventures

at the pump track in austin. harvey blew us all away
that he could keep up with this guy who was riding full speed.
i wish i would have captured the next scene,
where harvey cleared that gap! 

the brothers & their bikes.

at the alamo. 

our mariachi band along the san antonio river walk.

harvey at the san marcos kayak park.

brandon was so excited to see the surveying station near santa fe.
our requisite tourist photo spots aren't the norm i suppose.

scrub brush in southern colorado.

the droids of colorado state parks.

great sand dunes national park.

harvey wondering why brandon would
climb 40' off the ground.

crazy wyomin' rock face.

rodney graduated with style.
just three more sibling high school
graduations to survive enjoy!

we got in a little kayaking.

laramie flooded.

rowan came for a lovely visit!
(his family made it too, but he was most certainly the highlight!)

we rode bikes.

we rode bikes a lot actually.

we saw our first (& second) drive-in movie with old friends.

harvey went rafting for the first time.
he is with one of his favorite ladies in the whole world, emily.

a sweet dive into the cold snake.

i started watching bloom, our friends' son,
who we now all adore.
harvey gets a little nervous when the baby is too still or quiet.

tiff came for a visit & we talked human behavior into the ground.

kemi, mia, & i enjoyed our first of
many yearly girl's weekends in vegas!

rob & becky came for a visit.

we had an awesome time hanging out & showing them
our little life here in laramie.

we rode bikes some more. 

we enjoyed texas & family. 

we saw the ocean!

i made it my mission to pop as many man-o-wars
as i could along the national seashore. just doing my civic duty!

brandon caught a huge fish.

he also saw an adorable pine martin.

& he skied, & skied, & skied some more.