witty decoding

i just stumbled across this blog, suburban snapshots, and i managed to lose about an hour of my life perusing her witty takes on family and life. the author is quite down-to-earth in a way that pinterest and facebook do not permit, and she is a lovely reminder that the internet does not exist for the sole purpose of making women feel inadequate. my favorite post thus far is entitled spousal communications decoded. although she alludes to heterosexual relationships only, i suspect that similar things float around the homes of all couples, regardless of gender.

he said

• i cleaned while you were gone. = anything i had to hand wash is still sitting in the sink fermenting what will eventually become the key ingredient in a herpes vaccine.

• it's not in there, i checked. = when I opened the cabinet door and gingerly moved my head from right to left, then promptly exited the room, i didn't see the thing i was looking for.

• does this shirt look okay? = does this shirt increase my chances of having sex with you later?

• i have to run to home depot, need anything while i'm out? = i hope you don't need anything while i'm out, because chances are i'll take longer than the donner party and i already forgot what you asked for.

she said

• i'm making such a good dinner tonight. = i'mma dirty every single pot and pan we own, even the good ones that need to be washed by hand.

• 'give me five minutes, i just have to do a work thing. =  i just posted a picture to facebook and i'm compulsively refreshing my page until somebody comments.

• check out my new jeans. = your odds of having sex with me later depend entirely on your answer.

• i'm running to target for a birthday card, i'll be right back. = we have at least eighty dollars in the account, right?

two closures & a beginning

we closed on our house last thursday! we are really excited to enter the domain of home-ownership, although we keep hearing how much time and money a house consumes. while we don't want to be unrealistic, we are ignoring the naysayers for a bit and enjoying our little piece of the world. we haven't done much to the place, but keep forgetting to take "before" pictures of the few little projects we have completed. we will try to get a few more photos gathered and up soon, especially after we have the internet hooked up this week.

i finished the binding on my quilt, so that bad boy is finally finished and on our bed. i even used a ladder stitch {check out that oh-so-helpful link if you ever have to do binding} so my thread is virtually invisible. how did people make entire quilts by hand? ai, that tediousness is not for me! i am having a hard time loving the quilt because all i see are my mistakes, which is sadly a little too close to my view on my own life. perhaps learning to love this quilt--mistakes and all--will help me to get over this pessimism so i can learn to "let go" a bit more in life in general.

the best news of the weekend {other than brandon finally coming home} is that my brother ross is engaged to his girlfriend, jordyn. we are over the moon excited for them and will look forward to the big day {which sounds like it is going to be in june 2013}! congratulations to two incredible people who are perfectly suited for one another!

you win some, you lose some

well we didn't buy the truck last week like we planned. brandon specifically asked about the condition of the clutch & the guy said it was fine. turns out that was not true. we were annoyed that we drove 2.5 hours based on inaccurate information. in addition, they had not replaced the timing belt ever so it felt like a ticking time bomb. we offered them way below asking price {honestly, hoping they would say "no", but knowing we could work it out if they accepted}. they didn't accept & we got in the car feeling annoyed with the way sales work. honesty people, have you heard of it? i suppose they needed the money, but it left us with a yucky feeling.

we redeemed the weekend by getting together with tiffany and having scrumptious pizza. we decided to stay the night at her place. for whatever reason we brought enough food for harvey to stay the night, but failed to bring extra clothes or p.j.s for us. always thinking about him first... staying the night gave us a chance to cruise denver auto-row and hit up lots in ft. collins on the way back. we didn't find anything, but got our annual fill of stereotypical used-car salespeople.

to further redeem the weekend, we found a yardsale where everything was half off. it was the biggest yard sale score i have had, on a sunday to boot!

we got a set of spice jars, an herb garden kit, an old-school heavy-weight wrench,  an ugly lamp & two lampshades {future post on that redo to come}, & a spring-form pan. our grand total: $3! the pan is in perfect shape & is costs over $50 new. {yes, i googled it!} the spice jars not only make my cupboard look more unified, they also prevent bags of herbs from the co-op from falling down on my head each time i open the door. the random grey stick thing was in my box of jars--i guess it is for bathtub plumbing. hopefully we don't have to use it, right?

in other news, i entered a contest to win a year of free udi's gluten-free bread {which is the BEST gluten-free food ever!}. help me win by voting for my sandwich, the "AvoPestGobbler". just go to this link & click "thumbs up". the sandwhich is totally inspired by my mom & aunt kris who made similar sandwiches at grandma's the day after she cooked a turkey. i used to think "yuck, cranberry and turkey" & now i think "yum, yum, yumm!"

i've been doing all kinds of crafty projects in an effort to avoid homework. i need to take pictures and post them, but i hear a 10 page paper due tomorrow relentlessly beaconing me. it might be a bit before i get the photos up, but rest assured that the ugly sassy-brassy lamp above has crossed over into coolness.

predictable

i came across a book at barnes and noble recently, stuff white people like. i had heard of the blog before and laughed at it a few times, but the book freaked me out.  of the first 10 pages i liked 8 of the things! ugh, i felt so predictable. so i recently checked out the whole list, which consists of 139 items. once tallied, i only like about 26% of the things on the list, so that had me feeling a bit better.

each of the items listed have lengthy posts explaining the things white people adore, but the BEST explanation by far is the camping post. all credit due to stuff white people like, this is awesome:

If you find yourself trapped in the middle of the woods without electricity, running water, or a car you would likely describe that situation as a “nightmare” or “a worse case scenario like after plane crash or something.” White people refer to it as “camping.”

When white people begin talking to you about camping they will do their best to tell you that it’s very easy and it allows them to escape the pressures and troubles of the urban lifestyle for a more natural, simplified, relaxing time. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In theory camping should be a very inexpensive activity since you are literally sleeping on the ground. But as with everything in white culture, the more simple it appears the more expensive it actually is.

Camping is a multi-day, multi-step, potentially lethal activity that will cost you a large amount of both time and money. Unless you are in some sort of position where you absolutely need the friendship of a white person, you should avoid camping at all costs.

The first stage of camping always involves a trip to an outdoor equipment store like REI (or in Canada, Mountain Equipment Co-Op). These stores are well known for their abundance of white customers and their extensive inventory of things for white people to buy and only use once. If you are ever tricked into going to one of these stores, you can make white people like you by saying things like “man, this Kayak is only $1200, if I use it 35 times I’ve already saved money over renting.” Note: do not actually buy the kayak.

Next, white people will then take this new equipment and load it into an SUV or Subaru Outback with a Thule or Yakima Roof Rack. Then they will drive for an extended period of time to a national park or campsite where they will pay an entrance fee and begin their journey. It is worth noting that white people are unaware of the irony of using a gas burning car to bring them closer to nature and it is not recommended that you point this out. It will ruin their weekend.

Once in the camp area, white people will walk around for a while, set up a tent, have a horrible night of sleep, walk around some more. Then get in the car and go home. This, of course, is a best case scenario. Worst case scenarios include: getting lost, poisoned, killed by an animal, and encountering an RV. Of these outcomes, the latter is seen by white people as the worst since it involves an encounter with the wrong kind of white people.

Conversely, any camping trip that ends in death at the hands of nature or requires the use of valuable government resources for a rescue is seen as relatively positive in white culture. This is because both situations might eventually lead to a book deal or documentary film about the experience.

Ultimately the best way to escape a camping trip with white people is to say that you have allergies. Since white people and their children are allergic to almost everything, they will understand and ask no further questions. You should not say something like “looking at history, the instances of my people encountering white people in the woods have not worked out very well for us.”

Note: this works for all races!

all eyes on the cupped cakes

kemi and sara showed us this crazy video from "it's me or the dog".  maybe we are lucky our australian shepherd doesn't have the blue ghost eyes or we may have this trance in our lives too.  sometimes harvey gets a little too focused on his sharkie toy, but hasn't gone this far yet.  

my bros, the all-stars

as most of you know, i have a lot of younger brothers.  4 to be exact. they are all so different and i am proud of each of them for millions of things.  in particular i am proud of my brothers ross and rodney for sticking out a tough basketball season.  they had a new coach this year that required far more of them than any of us in my family thought fair: 6 to 7 practices a week, late-nights, early-mornings, pre-season games and tournaments.  it has been a grueling year for these guys and i am immensely proud of these two for sticking with the team even when it may not have seemed worth it.  

rodney moved up from jv to varsity mid-season and blew us all away.  we knew he was good on the jv team, but he was just a fantastic on the varsity.  his photo even made the bend bulletin.  and what kind of a proud sister would i be if i didn't post the link to his photos?  here it is, although you will have to push the double arrows to get to the picture of rodney.  the first photo that comes up is off ross (not my brother though), who made the mcdonald's all-american team.  that's right, the little town of sisters had an all-american team-member.  aren't we cool?  mostly just these guys are.  

way to stick it out boys.  it was so fun to be around for all the nail-biter games and to watch you make it this far.  now take the break you so deserve!

taking flight

this weekend we got out of dodge for a little vacation.  first we headed to the valley to see my grandma who had been in the hospital for about a week.  she suffered from a long list of issues and had to spend time there until they resolved/treated them all.  on tuesday, we went to visit her again and were able to share in the excitement of her preparing to leave the hospital.  she is going to an assisted living home as she isn't quite up to par for living on her own yet, but then again she is 91!  

spending time in dallas also meant we got to see steve and debbie, even if briefly!  they are exceptionally wonderful in their respective aunt and uncle roles and we are always grateful for them. 

after that we headed down i-5 to ashland, where i had arranged for us to stay at the ashland springs hotel.  this historic building has to be one of the most incredible, detailed, amazing places i have ever stayed.  from the moment we walked in i was giddy with excitement and loved nearly every inch of the place.  (there were some over-the-top lamps and mirrors adorned with seashells that i wasn't fond of, but otherwise...).  i found a great rate online for a discount on the posh hotel plus massages for two--my dream vacation.  we had such a wonderful time in ashland and would recommend this hotel to anyone.

here are a few of my favorite details:

they had this bird theme, which i am not sure of the origin, but they took it all out.  not all out in a tacky way, but in a very classy, tasteful way.  such as the adorable version of the do not disturb staple.  i much prefer to be referred to as "nesting".

on each door there was this cute little hand clip.  i so wanted to figure out a way to take ours off and bring it home with me, but the security cameras prevented me from stealing.  this photo doesn't do justice to how cool this hardware was.  

we got a great room on the 8th floor with a ginormous bed, a ton of pillows, and a superb view.  there were very few guests, so it felt like we had the place to ourselves. 

this is us in our hotel room.  brandon wanted to pose like an old-fashioned wedding photo, but i didn't want to be so serious.

here we are in the lobby of the hotel, standing in front of a dried manzanita shrub.  i am not terribly fond of live manzanita: it takes over, scratches as you ride or hike through it, and is horrible to try to cut.  when dried, the bark turns a deep dark brown and the leaves fade to sage green.  

after that we stayed with friends from jackson who have moved to southern oregon.  it was great to see them and catch up on life.  all-in-all, it was a great escape.

add to the resume

yesterday was a gloriously chaotic day on the river and i loved every second of it. normally i have to work in town on mondays, but on this labor day i was needed on the river because we were short-staffed. the morning ticked by at a snail's pace until we got a call that a 40' log was stuck across the river, blocking boaters from getting through. megan and i investigated and we made the call to close the river until this hazard could be removed (well actually we told our boss to make that call, but we influenced his decision).

brandon happened to be working on the fire engine and they offered to come help us cut the log out. they came down with the chainsaw, we fitted them up with pfds and tied them to a safety rope, and the cutting began. they cut the root ball off the tree and we assumed the tree would then break free and float away. no such luck as it was royally stuck. they then began working to pry the tree out by using the leverage of another tree. eventually it broke free and floated down river.

the man with the chainsaw, chip, got onto the search and rescue jet boat and they followed the tree downriver where it got stuck for a second time. they then cut the tree into four pieces and let those float away to meet their fate in the reservoir.

chip and brandon sizing up the task at hand

needless to say, this was a very exciting day and i loved having an important task to help with. however, the best part of the day was that the photo i took made it onto the cover (that's right, the COVER!) of the jackson hole daily paper. you can read the story and see the photo here. that means that i can modify my resume to include "professional photographer" as i was getting paid while taking those photos. not a bad gig!

you can check out all the photos on our picassa album which is a new photo album program we set up for sharing our pics. (the link is now also on our sidebar under "more photos".)

blast from the ruxpin past

i was doing a rediculous assignment for my cog pysch class on conspiracy theories with talking toys--basically, silly research the professor didn't want to do. i grumbled the whole way through the assignment because, let's face it, searching haphazardly on the internet does not generally produce appealing results.

anyhow, in the midst of my search for malfunctioning talking toys i stumbled across teddy ruxpin. i felt at once like i had been reunited with a long-lost friend. all my memories of this wonderful bear involve my childhood pal emily. apparently teddy is making a comeback, which you can view on his own personal website. and he too has gone digital. who knew?
mom, does this take you straight back to the tollgate house and my tall red bookshelf?

from my research i have concluded that children's ears were much safer back when the talking doll could only say what the cassette tape in its back permitted. anyone else remember teddy ruxpin and all his story-telling magic? brandon doesn't recall him at all!

kiddo comments

without fail this makes me laugh. hope it does you too!

new blog feature

i just wanted to point out the newest addition to our blog: the photos link. on the top left of the screen you should see a link that says "live in the current : photos". it will redirect you to our flickr site which i will try to update with photos. right now there are lots of canada photos and some kayaking ones.

so there is another thing to occupy your time on the internet!