trading

i am coming to realize that i have great expectations. not the classic novel, but the condition. and it is a rough one to overcome--daydreaming about just how amazing or perfect something will be doesn't always lend me to actually appreciate the reality of that something. 

for instance, when i am at work i think about how awesome our dog is and totally miss him. however, when i get home and harvey obsessively follows me from room to room, or wipes his post-frisbee session slobber on our new couch, or overly enthusiastically greets friends at the door i get all scrunchy and grumpy. "why can't you be like the dog i think you ought to be?" he is bizarre and obsessive and not everyone's cup of tea, but gosh darn it i love that expressive face and those soft ears of his. why can't i dwell on that? instead i get embarrassed by the way he doesn't match up with my expectations (which are, of course, due to my lack of training, but i digress).

anyhow, i am thinking about the way that i build events up in my mind so much that they don't stand a chance of being great in comparison to my ideal, even if they are great in their own right. so i am working on that. i think that comes with this time of year and the reflection and gratitude it inspires. then on glutenfreegirl.com i found this quote:

Expectations are premature disappointments.

perhaps a bit pessimistic for some of you, but it inspired me to think about the way that my expectations lead me to be ungrateful. there is so much beauty in my life, friendships, marriage, family, even my dog, and yet i have to temper myself against the temptation of thinking of how something could be better. i want to enjoy what is, not focus on what is not.

i've been meaning to post photos of the house now that we are settled. and yet i keep waiting for the house to be clean enough, the lighting to be just right for photos, or some project to be finished first. i'll try to let go of those expectations and take at least a few photos soon. i really love our little house and i want to share it on our blog.

pop quiz

so this sums up my thoughts on the world:

and also is the reason that i think it should be an official "right of passage" that every person work in food service. 

two closures & a beginning

we closed on our house last thursday! we are really excited to enter the domain of home-ownership, although we keep hearing how much time and money a house consumes. while we don't want to be unrealistic, we are ignoring the naysayers for a bit and enjoying our little piece of the world. we haven't done much to the place, but keep forgetting to take "before" pictures of the few little projects we have completed. we will try to get a few more photos gathered and up soon, especially after we have the internet hooked up this week.

i finished the binding on my quilt, so that bad boy is finally finished and on our bed. i even used a ladder stitch {check out that oh-so-helpful link if you ever have to do binding} so my thread is virtually invisible. how did people make entire quilts by hand? ai, that tediousness is not for me! i am having a hard time loving the quilt because all i see are my mistakes, which is sadly a little too close to my view on my own life. perhaps learning to love this quilt--mistakes and all--will help me to get over this pessimism so i can learn to "let go" a bit more in life in general.

the best news of the weekend {other than brandon finally coming home} is that my brother ross is engaged to his girlfriend, jordyn. we are over the moon excited for them and will look forward to the big day {which sounds like it is going to be in june 2013}! congratulations to two incredible people who are perfectly suited for one another!

around these parts

i have been a bit of a single lady this past month+ as brandon has been gone on multiple trips for field work for his PhD. it stinks to be without him, so i hope we have a nice, quiet, stay-home kind of winter. 

he was in jackson for the first three weeks of september, back for a bit, off to the middle-of-nowhere-wyoming for a few days, back for a bit, down to denver, and then off to minneapolis. in minnesota he is getting to "play" at this big fluvial lab on a controlled river where they can add sediment to see the river reactions. it sounds like a giant wet sandbox to me, but he seems to be learning a lot. he comes home saturday. for a week. then he is off again. sigh.

while brandon has been traveling around we have had a fair amount of activity around these parts:

-our close friends in laramie had baby #2. 

Anjali Bliss

we are so excited for heath, emily, and bloom to have ani in the family now too! she is adorable and adaptable and snuggly. i ensured her hipster status by making her a onesie with a bird on it. that's right, you gotta put a bird on it. even on a wee babe.

-i was offered a fourth job, but turned it down. i am having a hard time managing my three jobs, so i let this one pass. i should note that i did not apply for this job, but the nursing home in town specifically created a job with me in mind and tried to hire me. so flattering, but not quite right for me now.

-we bought a house! well, we are buying a house on thursday. we started looking towards the end of the summer and saw about seven duds until we landed on this bungalow and my heart skipped a beat. let me tell you, our price range was not providing that many appealing {or safe} homes in this area so we were quite thrilled to find this gem!

brandon was out of town when i found the place so he had to put in an offer on the house site-unseen. when i called and told him i found the place and wanted to put in the offer he said, "ok, i trust you." it was a good marriage moment. and when he finally saw the house he was just as stoked about it as i was! 

it has a kitchen, living room, two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs, with beautiful hardwood floors. in the basement there is potential for two more bedrooms, a den/office, and a bathroom, plus the laundry area. we are really excited about the place and feel like we got a good deal. the house just got a new roof this weekend, so it looks a bit different than in the photo above. the covered porch, blue spruce in the front yard, back deck, and apple tree are my favorite parts about the outside. once we close i will post more interior pictures and i am sure the blog will be taken over by home improvement projects.

-i tried to go ikea denver a couple weeks back {which includes about a 3 hour drive}, but got there in time to be turned away by an announcement over the loudspeaker that they weren't admitting customers as the water main to the store had burst. so we waited about 3.5 hours for it to be fixed before giving up. brandon and i are gonna try again this saturday. hopefully we can score on some sweet swed swag!

-my dad and aunt diane came to visit for a long weekend. it was awesome to have them out here and to show my dad the new place. he and brandon actually put in a new back fence together, so they got to bond a bit. in addition, we saw my dad's cousin and 92 year old aunt, who inspires me to keep up my mischief. she is a whoot!

i look forward to a bit less chaos but am so happy about all that has been happening in the past few months.

the reframe

lately i have had a lot of conversations with people about my {mis}perception of myself. particularly surround this belief:

i am shy.

yet, no one believes it. all my laramie friends challenge me on this, insisiting that shyness is impossible for me. one friend burst out laughing when i first told her i think of myself in this way. she thought i was being sarcastic, which admittedly, i often am. never-the-less, my shyness is real, despite my ability to have a conversation with a perfect stranger about just about anything.

i found this lovely little cartoon via pintrest that made me laugh. perhaps my ability to talk with strangers makes it difficult for people to believe i am shy. but i am telling you, i am incredibly introverted. just misunderstood.

 

we have a whole bunch going on right now, brandon especially. he defended his master's thesis yesterday {& was amazing!} & leaves for his PhD field work monday. he isn't complaining about spending the next three weeks in his kayak in jackson though--for his PhD research project he picked an awesome location & means of data collection. 

hibernation preperation

wow, summer has flown by so quickly & i have yet to post. somehow i thought grad school was the culprit; turns out i am just lazy. or busy. let's go with busy.

i am continuing to work at the hospital, which i am head-over-heels in love with. seriously, this is my place in the world!

i am also working at the university, as a faculty member for the division of social work. the title feels a little fraudulent as i am certain i don't know enough to be a faculty member, but apparently they thought i was qualified. i haven't been on campus much this summer due to vacation, visitors, & lots of hours at ivinson. i hope to catch up and feel a bit more competent soon.

in other news... we are working hard to buy a house. we know we are going to be here at least 4 more years so paying rent for that long seems like a waste of time & money. based on mortgage calculators we thought we could get into something soon for a reasonable monthly payment. turns out those calculators don't factor in insurance, taxes, etc. so we are further out in the process than we hoped. we are going to do a dave-ramsey-overhaul of our budget in order to squirrel away a bit more money for our down payment. hopefully there will be lots of free things going on around us in the next few months.

one of the ways we decided to save money was to disconnect our home internet service. it jumped to $60 a month so it felt ridiculous. hopefully we can put that extra money into our home savings account each month. in addition, we both have bad habits of spending way too much time on the internet in the evenings & on the weekends. we are optimistic that eliminating this distraction will result in more productivity, interaction, & time outside. it is quite embarrassing to admit how much time we spend on the internet. plus i have an iPhone now so we can check emails regularly. we may blog even less {is that possible?} in the next few months but by the time we are back on the internet at home we should be into our own house so we will have lots to blog about.

any advice from those who have venture ahead of us on this long strange trip of home buying is welcomed!

spring break, part II

our trip was the maiden voyage for the van-turned-mini-rv. we had a few things "undone" but i wanted to test it out before we sunk much more time {& $} into the thing so we only did the work we needed. 

i was plesantly surprised! it was really comfortable for sleeping & i didn't have the oh-my-goodness-get-this-stinky-dog-out-of-my-face-cramped-feeling i often have when we camp out of the outback. we have since finished up a few loose ends so we need to get the photos up of that transformation. overall, we are stoked about this thing!

we feel like the van needs a name, but we just can't come up with one we agree on. we are taking suggestions...

let my bed head speak for the comfort of this van! :) 

 justin was kind enough to ride behind me because
i was really freaked out about the reports of a cougar in the
area & since i am so slow i was the most likely cougar-bait candidate.

 of course the guys found some sweet jumps.
brandon above, justin below.

 we followed the guide book and trail markings, but somehow we
still managed to come out on air force land. total oops!
this was the first warning we saw so i am not sure we came
upon it backwards. we neither saw nor heard anything of interest.

 pretty southwest sunset.

 the rv in action!

harvey is also fond of the van because he can stand
between the two front seats & rest his head on the dash.
he was in a cast for the whole trip so this was
about as exciting as his day got.

brandon wanted a picture of them & their cars looking "hardcore."
i just don't know how hardcore a van can possibly look.

we had an awesome time with justin & it was hard to part ways. from albuquerque he headed back to texas & we went north to the four corners/mesa verde area. mesa verde is an amazing national park! it was a trek off the beaten path, but totally worth it!

the cliff dwellings were mind-blowing.

we couldn't believe how well they remained intact. 

it was fascinating.

after mesa verde we booked it up to moab where we met my friend megan & brandon rode slick rock. i'll get those photos up soon. for now, off to work at one of my new jobs...

rewind: spring break, part I

we had such an amazing spring break trip this year, but that was nearly two months ago & i have yet to document it. life has been busy, but it is slowing down for me as it picks up the pace for brandon. of course. 

on our trip we drove down to palo duro, texas, which is outside amarillo. now, i am not fond of much of texas; austin & port aransas are the the only parts i have fond feelings for, but west texas is especially awful to me. flat & ugly. but that makes the beauty of palo duro all the more incredible. the ground falls away without warning into this beautiful canyon. justin recommended we meet there & we loved it. it was full of awesome mountain bike trails--even my favorite trail EVER. 

from there we headed to new mexico. we stayed the night at a state park, but didn't do much exploring. we did feast on justin's amazing jalapeno dip & enjoyed (cold) showers. after that we drove on to albuquerque. a friend from the hospital recommended a couple things to do in the area since they recently moved from there to laramie. one of those things was ride the tram to the top of sandia peak. it was incredible! we had wonderful views of the valley and the mountain-top was beautiful. plus we had a great lunch at the summit. by far one of the best "touristy" things i have done in my life. i took a ton of photos on the gondola ride, in part to ignore my minor discomfort with heights.

rock totem

view of albuquerque & beyond

so beautiful

brandon was about two steps ahead of the tram operator in
explaining the geologic features.

i can't believe i got brandon & justin to act out the
titanic scene for me! glad i captured it!

stone house at the tippy-top of the peak, built by the CC

headed down.

passing the other tram on its way up.

barely a breeze. (yeah right.)

view of the lights of albuquerque from our
camp spot outside of town.

more pictures to come....

recap

the defense has been over for a couple of weeks, but i still don't feel "done" with grad school. it took about two hours for the knot in my stomach to loosen after my defense meeting. i passed! {whew!} i had a few corrections that took longer than i would have liked but they made my findings more significant. i will work on getting my thesis converted to a journal article & submit that this summer with hopes of getting published.

i finished my practicum at the hospital this last week by attending the national kidney foundation clinical meeting/conference in las vegas. despite my disdain for the sin city that should not exist in the middle of the desert, i traveled there for the second time in seven months. it was a great conference & confirmed my interest in nephrology social work, both with patients on dialysis & awaiting transplant. i am looking into a few jobs in the field & hope to have good news on that front soon.

i do have a job now though. i got hired on PRN {translation: "per request as needed" or on-call} at the hospital. i am really excited about this opportunity! i got the job without even interviewing, although brandon thinks i had a four month interview with my internship. i will cover for three people at the hospital & cancer center, filling in when they are sick or take vacation time. plus i will cover one weekend of call per month. the pay is lovely but there won't be enough work so i am on the hunt for something else. i think of this job as a foot in the door as it will place me first in line to be hired for the next social work opening. 

brandon is working furiously on his thesis & should be done this summer, just in time to jump into his PhD program. we are both excited about his new advisor who is a great mentor & friend to brandon. plus his research area will be the snake river in jackson, so it won't be hard to do research in the shadow of the tetons! 

he was awarded "graduate student of the year" for the geology department last week. {luckily he doesn't read the blog often to know i am bragging on him--he would be so embarrassed!} brandon shared the award with a good friend of ours that is the most diligent worker we have ever known, so it was a compliment to be considered equal with him. 

as i have said in the past few posts, i will get pictures up soon. just when i think i am done with school stuff another thing comes along. like exit loan counseling, which they told us about today and must be complete by friday or we don't graduate. thanks for the advanced notice.

d-fence?

tomorrow is my big "judgement" day: i have my oral defense of my thesis. 

i remember being a kid talking with my friend about going to college and writing a thesis. i really don't know how we knew such things existed, but i distinctly recall declaring to her that i was going to write one. although in those days, i probably also thought i was going to be president and find a cure for cancer. 

i am, of course, getting progressively more stressed out as 9AM mountain standard time approaches. if i had kept it simple and only included my committee in this meeting i don't think i would be as anxious, but i included friends and family. what was i thinking? i just keep imagining how awkward it is going to be to have brandon in the audience. give me a room full of strangers to talk to at length about oncology social work, just not the person i love and trust most in the world. ridiculous i know. 

i don't have fears of failing my defense, i just have fears of blubbering in front of my husband and friends. apparently you don't get to the point of your defense if you are unlike to pass. fingers crossed. 

hopefully my days of being a cheerleader will prepare me for this moment (haha) and i can just turn on a public persona of confidence and enthusiasm. i never thought i would find a way that being a cheerleader would help me through grad school, but i think this just might be the contribution! i'll try not to pull out any pom-poms or "ready? o-k"s. :)

i am optimistic that once this thesis business is behind me i can get back to the blog. i have a whole spring break trip to chronicle after all! for now, i just needed to vent and get my fears out on paper the internet.