d-fence?

tomorrow is my big "judgement" day: i have my oral defense of my thesis. 

i remember being a kid talking with my friend about going to college and writing a thesis. i really don't know how we knew such things existed, but i distinctly recall declaring to her that i was going to write one. although in those days, i probably also thought i was going to be president and find a cure for cancer. 

i am, of course, getting progressively more stressed out as 9AM mountain standard time approaches. if i had kept it simple and only included my committee in this meeting i don't think i would be as anxious, but i included friends and family. what was i thinking? i just keep imagining how awkward it is going to be to have brandon in the audience. give me a room full of strangers to talk to at length about oncology social work, just not the person i love and trust most in the world. ridiculous i know. 

i don't have fears of failing my defense, i just have fears of blubbering in front of my husband and friends. apparently you don't get to the point of your defense if you are unlike to pass. fingers crossed. 

hopefully my days of being a cheerleader will prepare me for this moment (haha) and i can just turn on a public persona of confidence and enthusiasm. i never thought i would find a way that being a cheerleader would help me through grad school, but i think this just might be the contribution! i'll try not to pull out any pom-poms or "ready? o-k"s. :)

i am optimistic that once this thesis business is behind me i can get back to the blog. i have a whole spring break trip to chronicle after all! for now, i just needed to vent and get my fears out on paper the internet. 

graduation, round II

brandon & are both going to graduate this may, which will be chaotic & fun--running from my ceremony at 8:30am to his at noon & then to my social work department party after that. sometimes i think, bah, who needs all this ceremonial stuff? asking people to sit through this boring events makes me question attending even more. 

but my dad is coming out, per his demand to see us both graduate. we were shocked that anyone wanted to make the long journey here just to see us wear funny outfits & be hooded, but my dad was adamant that of course he was coming! so we are doing this whole pomp & circum-whatever bit on may 6. i don't think i will regret it afterwards, although the running around in heels on the day of may drive me a tinge batty.

i am worried it will also feel like a sham. there is no way in the current time-space continuum we occupy that brandon nor i will be done with our theses until the end of may. which means we are going to walk across the stage, get that silly little {empty} book, & have our advisors put our master's hoods over our heads knowing all-the-while that we aren't really done done. hmph.

the day of our wedding {almost 6 years ago now!!!} we found out that our friend & mentor who was officiating the ceremony may not have been current on his license. there was no turning back to find a legitimate pastor at that point, so we proceeded onwards with the ceremony & requiste form signing. we joked for a few months about our fraudulent ceremony, hoping the bureaucracy of the state of oregon wouldn't notice. we haven't heard from them since, so hopefully they haven't noticed {or it doesn't matter} because it would be awkward to have to go through that whole wedding business again. 

i think participating in our graduations might feel a little like our wedding, but this time instead of just worrying it might be a fake we will know it really is just a show. 

lately, lately

life has felt down-right crazy lately. i love my internship placement site more & more each day, but i feel like the rest of my life is spiraling out of control with busy-ness. for the record, i can't stand that feeling. it makes me have minor breakdowns on a regular basis. i have encountered some emotionally difficult situations at the hospital that i can't post about {HIPPA regulations rule my life these days}. the situations that involve babies & kids are the hardest, but also the richest. i am so happy i love my internship & that even on the worst of days i joyfully look forward to going back to work.

school on the other hand has been a royal pain. perhaps i am just checked out & experiencing a bout of "short-timer's syndrome" but i am over it. sadly, it doesn't look like i will have my thesis done on time. i hope i can be done by the end of may. fingers crossed.

i have been sewing a bit when i can. recently i recovered our old {read: disgusting} ironing board. i don't dread ironing near as much now that it looks fancy & new. i am in a 20-somethings quilt club so i think that ironing board & i are going be be close friends as i work on my newest project. 

i also recovered the boring strap on my camera with some fun fabric. i am hoping the whimsical, girly print will dissuade would-be thieves {including brandon}. 

two days after we got the legitimate check from domino's to cover harvey's vet bill we had another "harvey incident". brandon took him skiing in the backcountry, which he has done regularly all winter, & the two of them collided. the impact of brandon's skis on harvey's leg resulted in a severed achilles tendon for poor harvey boy. brandon & his friends had to fashion a dog splint & stretcher so they could carry him out. apparently the evac took over 4 hours. 

 

 

harvey had surgery to reattach the tendon & has to be in a full-length hard cast for 2 months. we are 3 weeks in & it is rough keeping him mellow. we got directions from the vet that said "no running, jumping, playing, or running free for minimum of 12 weeks." obviously the vet doesn't know our dog or his never-stop-playing-for-1/2-a-second personality. 

 

in other news... we are staying in laramie! brandon accepted an offer to do his PhD in watershed resource sciences {i think that is the right name...} so we will be living in laramie for the next 3-5 years. we are both excited about staying here for the next bit as we {mostly} adore our charming little town & love the friends we have made here. the only concern we have is about me finding a job here so i don't have to commute. we have been looking at homes for sale & plan to buy next fall/winter, depending on my job situation.

i hope to be able to post more regularly, but it is hard to get around to updating this blog when i should be doing homework or working on my thesis. my favorite professor would tell me to "stop shoulding on myself" though. :)

changes in 2011

last year i did my MSW internship at the VA, in the mental health department. i loved it there & have been on the lookout for openings at VA facilities across the country. it was great to understand a {huge} part of our society more & find a way to serve people who serve in the military. it was also eye-opening & humbling.

this year i am doing my final internship at the local hospital. i have wanted to work at this hospital since we moved to here & i feel fortunate to have this coveted internship position. i started this week, with a bit of anxiety & uncertainty about exactly what i would be doing there. medical social work is difficult to conceptualize & explain, yet i have been drawn to it for years.

i now know why it is difficult to understand... because the entire work day flies by in a rush, with a buzz of energy & need surrounding you at all times, while you try to problem solve everything in a patient's life that is impacted by their medical condition. essentially, our medical crises don't happen in a vacuum & the medical social worker's job {at least a portion of it} is to address the universe of issues & needs that surround admission to the hospital. health, illness, life, death, success & failure--it all happens every day in every hospital. now, i get to be part of it!

when i started the MSW program, i felt like the faculty made it their mission to dissuade my plans to work as a medical/oncology social work plans. i heard repeatedly that my goals would change as i went through the program. i feel proud to know with certainty that i wasn't wrong about my goals, despite my lack of knowledge. being in this internship placement confirms that the medical field is where i want to begin my career. 

2010 in pics

last night harvey got hit by a car. a dominos delivery car to be exact. right in front of our house. it was awful to watch the whole accident happen & not be able to do a single thing. somehow he managed to bounce off the car & run out of the way before being hit again. the dominos driver didn't stop after the accident, just kept right on driving. luckily the dominos manager was upset with his driver's misbehavior & insisted that we take harvey to the vet on their expense. harvey seems to be ok, although he is really stiff & we have to monitor his breathing because the x-rays showed fluid in his lungs. he now growls at the scene of the crime each time we are near the road so brandon & i are hopeful he learned his lesson. doubtful, but hopeful.

fearing the worst as we saw the whole accident play out before us, we are now especially grateful for the little guy. this gratitude inspired me to go through our 2010 photos & reminisce. it was a good year!

harvey loves to bound through the powder
whenever we go out for a ski.

a little fox that hung around our
neighborhood last winter.

one of brandon's many crazy adventures

at the pump track in austin. harvey blew us all away
that he could keep up with this guy who was riding full speed.
i wish i would have captured the next scene,
where harvey cleared that gap! 

the brothers & their bikes.

at the alamo. 

our mariachi band along the san antonio river walk.

harvey at the san marcos kayak park.

brandon was so excited to see the surveying station near santa fe.
our requisite tourist photo spots aren't the norm i suppose.

scrub brush in southern colorado.

the droids of colorado state parks.

great sand dunes national park.

harvey wondering why brandon would
climb 40' off the ground.

crazy wyomin' rock face.

rodney graduated with style.
just three more sibling high school
graduations to survive enjoy!

we got in a little kayaking.

laramie flooded.

rowan came for a lovely visit!
(his family made it too, but he was most certainly the highlight!)

we rode bikes.

we rode bikes a lot actually.

we saw our first (& second) drive-in movie with old friends.

harvey went rafting for the first time.
he is with one of his favorite ladies in the whole world, emily.

a sweet dive into the cold snake.

i started watching bloom, our friends' son,
who we now all adore.
harvey gets a little nervous when the baby is too still or quiet.

tiff came for a visit & we talked human behavior into the ground.

kemi, mia, & i enjoyed our first of
many yearly girl's weekends in vegas!

rob & becky came for a visit.

we had an awesome time hanging out & showing them
our little life here in laramie.

we rode bikes some more. 

we enjoyed texas & family. 

we saw the ocean!

i made it my mission to pop as many man-o-wars
as i could along the national seashore. just doing my civic duty!

brandon caught a huge fish.

he also saw an adorable pine martin.

& he skied, & skied, & skied some more.

the cure

there is something difficult for me about the transition time after christmas. i get used to shopping, being on the lookout for the perfect gift, handing over my credit card, & buying, buying, buying. after christmas there are usually a few things to exchange so that keeps the trend going. then, all of the sudden, january rolls around & we should be done with the purchasing. but i just am not that good at switching off the shopping button. i had this discussion with my friend the other day & was relieved to learn that i am not alone in this buying fever. 

hopefully we closed out the shopping season with a bang! we bought a new car! we have been saving up {per dave ramsey's car-buying with cash only plan} & forked over the cash for a used all wheel drive safari van. what?!? that's right people, we bought a van! we couldn't be more stoked. it is going to be modified into a mini-motorhome of sorts & will also serve as a conduit to getting brandon out of the house & into the mountains while i slave away at my internship this spring.

i swear we saw every safari van between laramie & denver yesterday. we test-drove a few, even a pimped out conversion van with creepy limo lighting. we also went to REI to exchange my far too large bike helmet, stopped by target to buy a few 75% off work-appropriate shirts for me {see internship above}, dropped off our "second" dog at his real home, & and had an awesome dinner at PF Chang's. i haven't eaten there in a long time, but it was just as delicious as ever! 

take note of the snow on the road.
we haven't seen the blacktop of our road
since sometime in november.

we are gonna pull one, or maybe both,
of the back seats out.

so it was success all around, with a few important exchanges/purchases & then one big slammin' deal on a car we have been wanting. hopefully looking out at our new {to us} paid-for-in-hard-earned-cash-money van can bite the shopping bug! 

little changes here & there

a while back i blogged about a yard sale where we scored on a bunch of great {& random} things. one of the things we bought for 50 cents was large brass lamp. i told brandon to look past the ugly, giant shade & sassy brassy color & focus on the lines of the base. for 50 cents he was willing to "take the shot," as rob would say. we came home, cleaned her up, & immediately took the giant {2 1/2' diameter} shade to salvation army. 

we spent the rest of the day wandering the isles of rattle can paint at our local shops. brandon pulled out a caterpillar yellow--caterpillar as in CAT heavy machinery, not the fuzzy little critters. i wasn't so sure, but he was certain we need more color in our house. with some hesitation i agreed. 

now i LOVE it! spray painting is the easiest way to make something not-so-cool into something awesome! we found a greyish-brown shade & the lovely yellow lamp sits on top of our renovated blue end-table. they are great together! it looks better with the fabric basket my mom made us next to it, but i took this photo during advent so the basket was replaced with my little mexican nativity.

i have also done a few things in our bedroom. i have had this necklace tree for 5 years & although i like the look of it, it was tarnishing my jewelry & the tree was starting to fall over daily because the enamel wore off the base. i stopped wearing necklaces altogether just so i didn't have to deal with the carnage of it falling off the dresser. the red jewelry box was also something i loved, but the back broke & i was struggling to keep my earrings & bracelets from tangling. 

with a trip to bart's, our lovely indoor flea market, i found two frames, spray painted them, & filled one with cork board & the other with window screen. now i have a great way to display {& organize} my jewelry!

the other thing i have been up to is sewing! i sewed quite a few christmas gifts this year, but forgot to take photos of them before i sent them on their merry way. those of you who received handmade gifts from me, could you please snap a photo or two for me?

anyhow, i found some amazing fabric a while back & knew i wanted to make a bolster pillow for our bed with it. we have had the red thing going for a long time in our room, but i felt like we needed a few other colors. i added black piping to the pillow & it turned out great! i got together with my friend & neighbor for a sewing night when i made it. she totally doubted it would turn out right with the piping, but we were both pleasantly surprised. 

rowan dubbed this bedside lamp a "popcorn lamp"
while he was here this summer, so now i think
of him each time i turn that light off before bed.
an adorable godson is a great thing to think of as i go to sleep!

i also {finally!} made another black curtain for the second window in our room. i made the first one the week we moved in because there were no blinds on the window from our bedroom to the street. the second window opens to our sideyard & had {nasty} miniblinds. i couldn't take those gross slat blinds anymore so i made my classic twin-flat-sheet-$4-curtains. this requires i measure once, iron, & sew a straight line. it is so simple, easy, & cheap that i can't bring myself to fork over real money for real curtains. these will do for now!

we have done a few other things around here, but i don't have photos to share yet. it only took me four months to get around to taking photos of the revamped lamp!