Wednesday, February 22, 2012

ruminate

i'm just gonna own it: rumination is a real problem for me. i can't let go of criticism and i constantly fret that what i said, or how i said it, hurt someone or was misconstrued. i wish my rumination would be like turning a rock over in my hand until i smoothed away all the rough patches; instead, i let myself get all scratched up.

call it the winter doldrums, but i am exhausted with what life has been serving up lately. february started nicely {with a visit from mom and dad o.} but has since left me feeling beat up and exhausted. everyone i know is facing big stuff, bad stuff. an anne lamott quote keeps coming to mind:
there was so much bad news this winter that many of us were left feeling kind of pummeled and disturbed. parents and relatives died, kids got into much more serious trouble, and way too many friends got a bad diagnosis. 
yeah, pummeled, that's the feeling.

- - -

in other news, brandon bought me this book:

i'm planning to spend the next 30 minutes drinking a glass of wine and planning for chickens and coneflowers and summer. reminding myself that seasons change makes this all seem survivable.

3 comments:

The Ingrams said...

I'm with you! The first few months of the year have been pretty difficult so far - but it will pass, for both of us.

Enjoy that wine and that new book! Summer will be here before you know it.

Holly said...

Winter doldrums. They are the pits. I will raise a glass to you and look forward to happy hour across the miles!

Lyssa said...

I can identify with this. I hope you are feeling better today, if not I wish I could be there to give you a hug and hand you a baby :) be encouraged sweet friend, if it were always spring we wouldn't have spring. Love you!