Sunday, February 21, 2010

doubt and certainty

i can't speak for brandon on matters of faith. i can only speak for me and at times i don't even feel so confident about that. either way, doubt has been the theme for our house the past few years. i see it with my friends too, especially the ones that went to christian university. perhaps it has to do with leaving that community and facing the real world? for me it feels like it has to do a lot more with the way nothing can be proven. not even gravity or the age of the earth, and especially not heavenly beings. 

yet, i have a lot more faith in things that are scientifically "supported" than most of what i learned in church. i can't help myself but question how and why the traditions of christianity have continued, despite the fact that a lot of those things are oppressive. 

i also get frustrated by the way people intervene with god. i suppose i could say that about most things that start out pure, be it god or nature: it seems like we people just go and muddy up the waters with our "needs" and "knowledge". anyhow, i just doubt, doubt, doubt this whole religion thing. 

god? jesus? yeah, i still believe. would i jump up and say i am a christian? i don't think i would. but then i am not too certain about that either.

this quote gives me comfort:
doubt is uncomfortable; certainty is ridiculous. -voltaire

some of the blog readers will be bothered by these confessions, but honesty seems more important right now. for some reason i feel compelled to tell you, "have faith" but that seems like a bizarre comfort to offer.  


Maryann said...

fantastic post, fantastic quote! I've never heard that before.

Kathryn said...

I could say, "Oh, Lindsey, you're just going through the angst of youth," except your thoughts echo many of my own (and I'm way past the angst of youth!)

Good for you to speak out. I totally disagree with the quote though :) Certainty can make a space for contentment, and where contentment is, so is peace. And that is one of our most precious commodities.

Thanks for sharing.