always wanting what you can't have

the biggest want i have this year for christmas is to meet this little one occupying the greater portion of my abdomen. but it looks like that wish is very unlikely to be fulfilled, given the lack of signs of labor.

the other thing i want is to go for a ski.

i have been incredibly lucky this pregnancy, with being able to keep moving freely and the absence of limitations. were it not for the snow storm in early december and the subsequent sub-zero temps (resulting in perma-crusty, slippery roads and sidewalks), i know i could have ridden my bike to work up until my last day. but the roads are still an icy mess and my concerns about wrecking my bike kept me playing it safe, so i haven't been getting my usual exercise.

i keep hearing/reading that walking is one of the best ways to get labor going. can i just say that sounds dreadful right now? i don't walk these days: i waddle. slowly and cautiously. so the idea of walking the multiple miles i would likely need to get labor going sounds like torture.

but a ski, that sounds nice and peaceful. i know it would be difficult and likely awkward, but it would mean i was up among the trees, slushing through the snow, watching my crazy mongrel of a dog bound around joyfully. this sounds far more up my ally than being drug around the park with said dog whining with discontent that there are squirrels in HIS park, while i waddle along in shame.

(i must admit that the idea of going for a ski also calls to me, perhaps, in part, because i hope the gliding motion will jostle baby o. into developing an evacuation plan.)

but my ski plans have been thwarted by my edematous hobbit feet.

i knew pregnancy wouldn't be glamorous and that parts of my body would change, but i did not expect that my feet would look like they belong to a morbidly obese person nor that they would pulse with discomfort. some days, my toes look like they are going to pop. my feet ache with each step i take right now; all this water-weight does not equate to walking on pillows of air, as my friend mia optimistically hoped. and i currently have two pairs of shoes i can tolerate wearing, so that really limits my wardrobe and comfort options. the other downside to these distended feet: they won't fit into my ski boots. sigh. so i sit here on the couch, with my feet up, hoping for relief and wanting to beg santa for three things this year:

• to go for a ski.
• to have my ankles back.
• to hold my healthy, kicking baby girl to my chest.

for the record, i would be content with only getting one of those wishes, but you have to give st. nick some options. hopefully he knows the thing i want the most!