Sunday, May 20, 2007

processing the numbness

this morning at 2:30am i received a work call that there was a sniper inside or on top of the local presbyterian church in moscow shooting at the police station. waking from REM sleep to that is very confusing so my reaction was not panic. i thanked my co-worker for letting me know and told her we would stay in the house with the lights off as she directed.
when i woke up at 9:00 i called brandon (who is in montana) to let him know about the strange call and to pass on the info to his classmates. within ten minutes he called me back with the details as it was all over cnn.
fortunately for me kemi and mia were here visiting or i would have been very much alone and very much panicked. it is just too strange for me to even process that three people were killed in our little town.
we made the decision so stay inside for the night, but had we gone out for drinks and walked home we would have been literally in the line of fire. i am devastated for what went on, but also unnerved that all it would have taken is one of us to insist on going out.
now i am just feeling strange and surreal and numb. i wish brandon were home. i wonder how things will be at work tomorrow. i am afraid, not in the sense that i fear it will happen again, but afraid about the way our world is.

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