o tannebaum

our tree has come a long way from it's home in the woods last weekend. we even got a few of our favorite ornaments up before baby o's arrival!

brandon and i tried to take a few family photos, which turned out ok on my camera, but are uploading strangely here. never-the-less, we are savoring our last few days as a family of two.

i'm almost 39 weeks and eagerly anticipating the end of being pregnant, but i'm grateful to have a healthy baby and to have made it full-term. i would be lying if i said i didn't hope for her arrival soon, but no signs of that happening in the next few days. 

there is no winning in this game

although we are far from parents [well, not that far; baby o is half-way cooked as of this week.], it seems to me that this whole parenting olympics competition is not for the faint of heart. who knew you could feel judgement about the decisions you make about parenting before you are even a parent?!?

the reality is that we are going to screw up and have to hang our head and admit that our "parenting plan" was naive. we will be wrong. a lot. hopefully we will be right a few times along the way too.

every time we tell people that we are pregnant we hear some version of "you two are going to be such great parents." there are some people that tell us this sincerely, but we have been hearing it so often that we have come to realize this is just what people say to people expecting a baby. [and now we wonder if every day might be opposite day?]

anyhow, it seems you can't win for trying, because someone somewhere [especially that wee bundle of joy] will condemn you for trying your darndest. i came across this list, and although it is a bit pessimistic, it is a humorous reminder for me that we are not even close to being in the running for the parenting olympics gold, silver, OR bronze. and i am ok with that.

PROOF THAT YOU ARE F*ING UP YOUR OFFSPRING NO MATTER WHAT

If you’re...	Then obviously...
Exclusively breastfeeding	THE BABY WILL NEVER SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT AND YOUR NIPPLES WILL FALL OFF, AND YOU’LL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF.
Exclusively formula-feeding	YOU’RE POISONING YOUR BABY, YOU MONSTER, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT’S IN FORMULA? PRETTY MUCH JUST FECAL MATTER AND SCRAP METAL.
Sleep-training	YOU’RE ABANDONING YOUR BABY AND AS A RESULT IT WILL NEVER FORM A PROPER EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
Not sleep-training	YOU’RE CODDLING YOUR BABY AND AS A RESULT IT WILL DEPEND ON YOU FOR THE REST OF ITS NATURAL LIFE.
Co-sleeping	IF YOU DON’T ACCIDENTALLY KILL YOUR BABY BY SMUSHING IT IN THE NIGHT IT WILL PROBABLY GROW UP TO BE A SEXUAL DEVIANT.
Introducing solids at four months	YOU MUST WANT YOUR BABY TO CHOKE TO DEATH, DON’T YOU?
Still feeding your one year-old purees	YOU MUST BE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL PUSSY.
Making your own baby food	WHAT, MORTAL FOOD ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR PRECIOUS BABY, GWYNETH?
Not making your own baby food	CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR CHILD HAS JUST INGESTED ITS OWN WEIGHT IN ARSENIC.
Using disposable diapers	YOU MUST WANT TO SPEED UP GLOBAL WARMING WITH THOSE LITTLE SHITBALLS OF ETERNAL WASTE.
Using cloth diapers	YOU MUST BE THE TYPE OF HIPPIER-THAN-THOU MARTYR WHO ENJOYS BEING UP TO HER ELBOWS IN LITERAL CRAP.
Going back to work and hiring a nanny	YOUR CHILD WILL PROBABLY GROW UP CALLING YOU BY YOUR FIRST NAME
Staying home with your kid	YOU’RE NOT CONTRIBUTING ANYTHING TO SOCIETY. LEAN IN, GODAMMIT. LEAN INNNNNNNN!!!!!
Engaging your child in educational play every waking moment	YOU’RE A HOVERING PSYCHO WHO’S SABOTAGING ANY HOPE OF YOUR BABY LEARNING TO BE INDEPENDENT.
Letting your child watch Mythbusters while you blog and drink half a bottle of wine	YOU’RE A NEGLIGENT SLOTH WHO’S SABOTAGING ANY HOPE OF YOUR BABY GETTING INTO A DECENT COLLEGE.

sassycurmudgeon.com

i came across this some time ago, before we were even ready to talk about having a baby. it still rings true: 

gender neutral

first of all: i passed my licensed clinical social worker exam this week. it was a huge hurdle in this 2 year process. although getting my LCSW is important, it doesn't have major implications for my current  jobs. never-the-less, having this done will make me more employable down the road and will allow us to move to another state without me having to start the process all over again.

- - -

baby o seems to be doing well, as far as i can tell. he/she hasn't been moving a whole lot, but as soon as i got in the car after finishing my exam on tuesday i felt a ton of movement. i think i had a lot of stress hormones coursing through me in the weeks prior to the test, so i am sure that kept a damper on his or her activity.

we find out the baby's gender on monday. i am excited to see that little peanut bouncing around on the screen again, this time without the fear we had last time (at 13 weeks we had to have an unplanned ultrasound because the midwife couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler). hopefully baby o won't be too modest, because i would really like to know what direction we need to go in terms of a name.

although i don't put too much stock in the "old wives' tales" of gender prediction, they are kind of fun to consider. here is the breakdown for us:

• chinese gender chart: girl
• bump height (neither high nor low): either 
• heart rate: girl
• sour or sweet cravings: either
• mayan even/odd rule: boy
• acne (no changes): either
• ring swing test: girl
• morning sickness: girl

from that list, the deck seems pretty stacked for girl, but i feel like this bebe is a boy. i guess we will have to wait and see what vida, the ultrasound tech, can reveal on monday!

studying, studying, studying. oh, and baby o too!

shouldn't i be done with studying considering i've been out of school for two years? one would think. but this road to become a licensed clinical social worker involves some fortitude (and time and money and brains). i sit for my licensure exam at the end of the month, which will be the final hurdle in my journey to getting those "LCSW" initials behind my name and becoming a legitimate social worker. 

i just spent the last 2 hours taking a practice exam intended to simulate the real deal. it was brutal and i felt completely incompetent the entire time i was taking the test, all 170 questions. in the end, i passed the practice test by a pretty big buffer. hopefully i can maintain a similar score on my actual exam and put this stage of life behind me and those letters behind my name.

---

in other news, baby o is doing well. we heard his/her heartbeat this past week and it is right on target. my nausea has almost entirely subsided, with brief bouts here and there, but nothing horrible like i had in the first trimester. my friend brittany (and others, i'm sure) have documented their pregnancies well with the questions below, so i decided to do the same, mostly for the sake of our families and so i stand a chance of remembering the details of this little one's hatching process.

how far along: 17 weeks

total weight gain/loss: 3 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, 9 pounds from my first-trimester-sick-all-the-time weight. 

maternity clothes: mostly maternity bottoms and regular skirts, with non-maternity shirts.

stretch marks: none. (yet.)

sleep: dependent on my half-tab of unisom. brandon was trying to get my to wean myself off of it, suggesting i was dependent, but the nurse midwife said unisom was harmless to take throughout the pregnancy, so i shot brandon the "see!" look and continued popping those little blue pills of sleep salvation.

best moment this week: laying in the grass in our backyard and feeling a few little baby movements for the first time.

movement: i think that's what i'm feeling in there. it is strange to think that for the rest of the pregnancy i will feel this baby moving.

food cravings: (gf) bagels and cream cheese and just about every fruit under the sun.

gender: we don't yet know, but are scheduled to find out august 5. most guesses from friends and family have been pro-boy. 

what i miss: feeling comfortable in my clothes without having to perpetually pull, tug, and rearrange.

milestones: i finally feel good about a contender in the girl name arena. we've been settled on the name if this is a bambino since the first few weeks of the pregnancy, but names for a bambina have been trickier.

15 weeks in oregon.
on our 8 year anniversary too.

18 weeks in wyoming.

one thing i noticed coming back from our road trip to lower elevations, is that my belly seemed to stick out a lot more at 3200 feet than it has since we returned to 7200 feet. among the many benefits of living well over a mile above sea level is that the atmospheric pressure here seems to act as free SPANX, which everyone can appreciate.

two closures & a beginning

we closed on our house last thursday! we are really excited to enter the domain of home-ownership, although we keep hearing how much time and money a house consumes. while we don't want to be unrealistic, we are ignoring the naysayers for a bit and enjoying our little piece of the world. we haven't done much to the place, but keep forgetting to take "before" pictures of the few little projects we have completed. we will try to get a few more photos gathered and up soon, especially after we have the internet hooked up this week.

i finished the binding on my quilt, so that bad boy is finally finished and on our bed. i even used a ladder stitch {check out that oh-so-helpful link if you ever have to do binding} so my thread is virtually invisible. how did people make entire quilts by hand? ai, that tediousness is not for me! i am having a hard time loving the quilt because all i see are my mistakes, which is sadly a little too close to my view on my own life. perhaps learning to love this quilt--mistakes and all--will help me to get over this pessimism so i can learn to "let go" a bit more in life in general.

the best news of the weekend {other than brandon finally coming home} is that my brother ross is engaged to his girlfriend, jordyn. we are over the moon excited for them and will look forward to the big day {which sounds like it is going to be in june 2013}! congratulations to two incredible people who are perfectly suited for one another!

spring break, part II

our trip was the maiden voyage for the van-turned-mini-rv. we had a few things "undone" but i wanted to test it out before we sunk much more time {& $} into the thing so we only did the work we needed. 

i was plesantly surprised! it was really comfortable for sleeping & i didn't have the oh-my-goodness-get-this-stinky-dog-out-of-my-face-cramped-feeling i often have when we camp out of the outback. we have since finished up a few loose ends so we need to get the photos up of that transformation. overall, we are stoked about this thing!

we feel like the van needs a name, but we just can't come up with one we agree on. we are taking suggestions...

let my bed head speak for the comfort of this van! :) 

 justin was kind enough to ride behind me because
i was really freaked out about the reports of a cougar in the
area & since i am so slow i was the most likely cougar-bait candidate.

 of course the guys found some sweet jumps.
brandon above, justin below.

 we followed the guide book and trail markings, but somehow we
still managed to come out on air force land. total oops!
this was the first warning we saw so i am not sure we came
upon it backwards. we neither saw nor heard anything of interest.

 pretty southwest sunset.

 the rv in action!

harvey is also fond of the van because he can stand
between the two front seats & rest his head on the dash.
he was in a cast for the whole trip so this was
about as exciting as his day got.

brandon wanted a picture of them & their cars looking "hardcore."
i just don't know how hardcore a van can possibly look.

we had an awesome time with justin & it was hard to part ways. from albuquerque he headed back to texas & we went north to the four corners/mesa verde area. mesa verde is an amazing national park! it was a trek off the beaten path, but totally worth it!

the cliff dwellings were mind-blowing.

we couldn't believe how well they remained intact. 

it was fascinating.

after mesa verde we booked it up to moab where we met my friend megan & brandon rode slick rock. i'll get those photos up soon. for now, off to work at one of my new jobs...

rewind: spring break, part I

we had such an amazing spring break trip this year, but that was nearly two months ago & i have yet to document it. life has been busy, but it is slowing down for me as it picks up the pace for brandon. of course. 

on our trip we drove down to palo duro, texas, which is outside amarillo. now, i am not fond of much of texas; austin & port aransas are the the only parts i have fond feelings for, but west texas is especially awful to me. flat & ugly. but that makes the beauty of palo duro all the more incredible. the ground falls away without warning into this beautiful canyon. justin recommended we meet there & we loved it. it was full of awesome mountain bike trails--even my favorite trail EVER. 

from there we headed to new mexico. we stayed the night at a state park, but didn't do much exploring. we did feast on justin's amazing jalapeno dip & enjoyed (cold) showers. after that we drove on to albuquerque. a friend from the hospital recommended a couple things to do in the area since they recently moved from there to laramie. one of those things was ride the tram to the top of sandia peak. it was incredible! we had wonderful views of the valley and the mountain-top was beautiful. plus we had a great lunch at the summit. by far one of the best "touristy" things i have done in my life. i took a ton of photos on the gondola ride, in part to ignore my minor discomfort with heights.

rock totem

view of albuquerque & beyond

so beautiful

brandon was about two steps ahead of the tram operator in
explaining the geologic features.

i can't believe i got brandon & justin to act out the
titanic scene for me! glad i captured it!

stone house at the tippy-top of the peak, built by the CC

headed down.

passing the other tram on its way up.

barely a breeze. (yeah right.)

view of the lights of albuquerque from our
camp spot outside of town.

more pictures to come....

graduation, round II

brandon & are both going to graduate this may, which will be chaotic & fun--running from my ceremony at 8:30am to his at noon & then to my social work department party after that. sometimes i think, bah, who needs all this ceremonial stuff? asking people to sit through this boring events makes me question attending even more. 

but my dad is coming out, per his demand to see us both graduate. we were shocked that anyone wanted to make the long journey here just to see us wear funny outfits & be hooded, but my dad was adamant that of course he was coming! so we are doing this whole pomp & circum-whatever bit on may 6. i don't think i will regret it afterwards, although the running around in heels on the day of may drive me a tinge batty.

i am worried it will also feel like a sham. there is no way in the current time-space continuum we occupy that brandon nor i will be done with our theses until the end of may. which means we are going to walk across the stage, get that silly little {empty} book, & have our advisors put our master's hoods over our heads knowing all-the-while that we aren't really done done. hmph.

the day of our wedding {almost 6 years ago now!!!} we found out that our friend & mentor who was officiating the ceremony may not have been current on his license. there was no turning back to find a legitimate pastor at that point, so we proceeded onwards with the ceremony & requiste form signing. we joked for a few months about our fraudulent ceremony, hoping the bureaucracy of the state of oregon wouldn't notice. we haven't heard from them since, so hopefully they haven't noticed {or it doesn't matter} because it would be awkward to have to go through that whole wedding business again. 

i think participating in our graduations might feel a little like our wedding, but this time instead of just worrying it might be a fake we will know it really is just a show. 

2010 in pics

last night harvey got hit by a car. a dominos delivery car to be exact. right in front of our house. it was awful to watch the whole accident happen & not be able to do a single thing. somehow he managed to bounce off the car & run out of the way before being hit again. the dominos driver didn't stop after the accident, just kept right on driving. luckily the dominos manager was upset with his driver's misbehavior & insisted that we take harvey to the vet on their expense. harvey seems to be ok, although he is really stiff & we have to monitor his breathing because the x-rays showed fluid in his lungs. he now growls at the scene of the crime each time we are near the road so brandon & i are hopeful he learned his lesson. doubtful, but hopeful.

fearing the worst as we saw the whole accident play out before us, we are now especially grateful for the little guy. this gratitude inspired me to go through our 2010 photos & reminisce. it was a good year!

harvey loves to bound through the powder
whenever we go out for a ski.

a little fox that hung around our
neighborhood last winter.

one of brandon's many crazy adventures

at the pump track in austin. harvey blew us all away
that he could keep up with this guy who was riding full speed.
i wish i would have captured the next scene,
where harvey cleared that gap! 

the brothers & their bikes.

at the alamo. 

our mariachi band along the san antonio river walk.

harvey at the san marcos kayak park.

brandon was so excited to see the surveying station near santa fe.
our requisite tourist photo spots aren't the norm i suppose.

scrub brush in southern colorado.

the droids of colorado state parks.

great sand dunes national park.

harvey wondering why brandon would
climb 40' off the ground.

crazy wyomin' rock face.

rodney graduated with style.
just three more sibling high school
graduations to survive enjoy!

we got in a little kayaking.

laramie flooded.

rowan came for a lovely visit!
(his family made it too, but he was most certainly the highlight!)

we rode bikes.

we rode bikes a lot actually.

we saw our first (& second) drive-in movie with old friends.

harvey went rafting for the first time.
he is with one of his favorite ladies in the whole world, emily.

a sweet dive into the cold snake.

i started watching bloom, our friends' son,
who we now all adore.
harvey gets a little nervous when the baby is too still or quiet.

tiff came for a visit & we talked human behavior into the ground.

kemi, mia, & i enjoyed our first of
many yearly girl's weekends in vegas!

rob & becky came for a visit.

we had an awesome time hanging out & showing them
our little life here in laramie.

we rode bikes some more. 

we enjoyed texas & family. 

we saw the ocean!

i made it my mission to pop as many man-o-wars
as i could along the national seashore. just doing my civic duty!

brandon caught a huge fish.

he also saw an adorable pine martin.

& he skied, & skied, & skied some more.