studying, studying, studying. oh, and baby o too!

shouldn't i be done with studying considering i've been out of school for two years? one would think. but this road to become a licensed clinical social worker involves some fortitude (and time and money and brains). i sit for my licensure exam at the end of the month, which will be the final hurdle in my journey to getting those "LCSW" initials behind my name and becoming a legitimate social worker. 

i just spent the last 2 hours taking a practice exam intended to simulate the real deal. it was brutal and i felt completely incompetent the entire time i was taking the test, all 170 questions. in the end, i passed the practice test by a pretty big buffer. hopefully i can maintain a similar score on my actual exam and put this stage of life behind me and those letters behind my name.

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in other news, baby o is doing well. we heard his/her heartbeat this past week and it is right on target. my nausea has almost entirely subsided, with brief bouts here and there, but nothing horrible like i had in the first trimester. my friend brittany (and others, i'm sure) have documented their pregnancies well with the questions below, so i decided to do the same, mostly for the sake of our families and so i stand a chance of remembering the details of this little one's hatching process.

how far along: 17 weeks

total weight gain/loss: 3 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, 9 pounds from my first-trimester-sick-all-the-time weight. 

maternity clothes: mostly maternity bottoms and regular skirts, with non-maternity shirts.

stretch marks: none. (yet.)

sleep: dependent on my half-tab of unisom. brandon was trying to get my to wean myself off of it, suggesting i was dependent, but the nurse midwife said unisom was harmless to take throughout the pregnancy, so i shot brandon the "see!" look and continued popping those little blue pills of sleep salvation.

best moment this week: laying in the grass in our backyard and feeling a few little baby movements for the first time.

movement: i think that's what i'm feeling in there. it is strange to think that for the rest of the pregnancy i will feel this baby moving.

food cravings: (gf) bagels and cream cheese and just about every fruit under the sun.

gender: we don't yet know, but are scheduled to find out august 5. most guesses from friends and family have been pro-boy. 

what i miss: feeling comfortable in my clothes without having to perpetually pull, tug, and rearrange.

milestones: i finally feel good about a contender in the girl name arena. we've been settled on the name if this is a bambino since the first few weeks of the pregnancy, but names for a bambina have been trickier.

15 weeks in oregon.
on our 8 year anniversary too.

18 weeks in wyoming.

one thing i noticed coming back from our road trip to lower elevations, is that my belly seemed to stick out a lot more at 3200 feet than it has since we returned to 7200 feet. among the many benefits of living well over a mile above sea level is that the atmospheric pressure here seems to act as free SPANX, which everyone can appreciate.

silencio

my apologies for the continued quiet. i thought life would be less busy and i would have more fun things to blog about, but i have been mostly working, working, and working some more. however, tomorrow marks the beginning of a very good thing: summer break for me!

a few months back i got an overwhelmingly positive performance evaluation from my boss. it made me wonder if he was really paying attention, because it was THAT positive. but i capitalized on his glowing assessment and negotiated for a bit of "free time" compensation, since raises are not permissible for state employees this year. what that means is i get to have all of july and half of august free. already july is booked, which is a little nutty, but it will be filled with so many great things: a week of work at the hospital, a visit from becky, the overstreet family reunion, and then the month will conclude with me taking my... [dun, dun, dun] ... licensure exam.

before any of those great things come, an even greater thing will happen first: my brother is marrying the most wonderful woman next saturday. my little brother, who came home looking like a wrinkly old man, and who i instantly loved and loathed, is getting married. it is such a mind trip in one way and then in another sense, it is absolutely the most "right" thing in the world. weddings are generally joyous celebrations, but this one just feels overwhelmingly happy to me. these two are meant to be together and now they will be forever.

aren't they just the best?!?

sporadic blogging

it feels like not much has been happening in our lives that is "blog worthy" since i returned from honduras. i suppose that is the way life works sometimes, with big, intense waves that leave silence and solace in their wake.

we have been steadily chipping away at house kitchen projects and brandon built a great built-in bench for the dining corner of our kitchen. this, of course, led us to have to find a new table because our other table was much too big to allow both the back door to open and access to the utensils, so each time we needed to get to one or the other we had to hoist the table a foot in the opposite direction. (does anyone else feel like all home projects are essentially variations of the if you give a mouse a cookie book? you can't even consider doing one project without 13 other projects suddenly requiring immediate attention!)

last week i had a training down in denver, so brandon joined me for a little work/leisure trip. while i spent the days being inundated on the techniques of motivational interviewing, he (mostly) kayaked in the whitewater park in golden, co. we also managed to completely fall for golden -- bike paths and great restaurants are everywhere and the life of the city seems to center around the river (and, the coors brewery, but alas...). it was fun to live the "city life" for a bit, but are hearts were both content to return to the quiet of laramie.

now that spring has finally appeared (the first leaves began to sprout on the trees just last week), we are looking ahead to yard improvements. i have my sprouts started for the garden and i'm hoping to get them in the ground about june 1, provided the snow doesn't plan to return. we have ordered sod and brandon is installing a sprinkler system, which will really transform our backyard. there are very few true pleasures in life that come in the form of instant gratification -- laying sod is one of them though!

our plan is to head to the black hills for memorial day weekend, but we just might scratch that in favor of sticking closer to home and tooling around the house.

complications and imperfections

i can't believe i have been back from honduras for over a month now. it seems like it was just yesterday, even though life in honduras, at least rural honduras, is worlds away from life in the states.

people keep asking how my trip was and it is incredibly hard to summarize with a soundbite.

it was complicated. it was rich and rewarding and it was painful and exhausting. it wasn't always clear that our being there was a good thing and our presence was certainly not without unintended consequences. but alas, this is life and, especially, international aide. 

i have come to learn that some things are just complicated. and we can fight this, we can wrestle it, we can resist it, we can ignore it. or we can acknowledge that very few things are as simple as we wish they would be and work continuously to make these flawed systems slightly less flawless. 

while i was in honduras i was reading Mountains Beyond Mountains, which proved to be perfect timing in terms of challenging my own issues with our trip through the way dr. paul farmer and his international medical service work relentlessly try to serve the poor. this book upset me and gave me hope in humanity all at once. while i highlighted hundreds of quotes from the book, one continues to resonate:  don't let perfect be the enemy of good (p. 160). 

i will admit that i am in that strange space between youthful naiveté and late-twenties/early-thirties bitterness. but one thing i took from this trip is that relationships are the vehicle for lasting, real, meaningful change and that if we focus on perfection, we are only going to be left with emptiness and brokenness. we must do the good we can with those we can reach. 

so with all that posturing and politicizing  here is the true story in pictures. i don't have many pictures of the children, because i don't have a way of making sure they don't mind if i share their faces on the internet. don't be fooled though, there were children everywhere--lack of accesible birth control and 97% catholicism will do that.

driving in tegucigalpa--for one brief second while the shutter opened the roads weren't packed; this was an anomaly.

hospital in la esperanza + recently decommissioned ambulance.

church and gorgeous tree in la esperanza (where we stopped over going in and out of honduras).

THE town of agua salada. literally, this is the whole town: church and school. 

one of the mango trees near my tent. we ate hundreds of mangos over the course of two weeks
and now the ones at home just don't compare.

church doors at the stations of the cross service i attended.

one of the nicer homes in the area.
just to the left of the frame is an incredible garden of the local herbalista.

these rocks were used to grind corn for tortillas, tamales, pupusas, etc.
i wonder how many hours the women of this house have spent using this?

no one has indoor plumbing and few have outdoor plumbing.
everyone has a pit-style toilet outside their home.

and everyone that has ever done any work abroad knows, futbol is the way to relationship.
and perhaps the path to peace? oh no, those post-futbol riots are pretty awful.

we went on many home visits, which were my favorite part of the experience.
we have no concept of hospitality in the US in comparison with the rest of the world--these people have next to nothing and they shared without a second thought.

as you can see, the roads are primitive and steep.
somehow every direction we went from agua salada was uphill. in 100+ degrees. youch.

most people arrived at our clinic after many hours of walking, but a few people came on horseback.

the clinic in operation.

my home for two weeks--the cozy little green tent.

we had a torrential downpour one day that left me stranded at the local school for two hours,
made the nearby road impassible, and soaked many people's things.
fortunately, my little tent held out and i stayed dry through the night.

the market in concepcion,
which was packed full of people and designed for hondurans (i.e., not for people exceeding 5'7")

this dog stood on the edge of this building (?) for hours, just looking out over the people at the market.
i'm not sure how he got up there or planned to get down.

with lots of cattlemen in the country, nearly every booth in the markets sell lassos and rope.

one of the social work students that went on the trip had never been camping,
riden in the back of a pick-up, or been on a horse.
honduras provided each of those experiences for her, which is ironic because those seem like
hallmark wyoming experiences.

this little dude has my heart. for whatever reason he and i hit it off so
wherever i went he wasn't far behind.
one afternoon i made up a card came and taught it to him. we sat and played "two kings" for hours
and then he started teaching it to his friends and family.
when i think about honduras now, i think about him and miss him immensely.

two of the days we were there were leisure days, both spent at waterfalls,
in hopes of escaping the 100+ temps.
this waterfall was just outside concepcion and was fun to sit underneath.
this picture is of one of the translators, demas, enjoying a back massage courtesy of the waterfall.

this was the waterfall we hiked to on our second leisure day.
we sat in the spray of the waterfall for three hours, enjoying the closest thing to air conditioning honduras has to offer. it was glorious!  

on the last night in agua salada we played spoons. all of the men in the community were entranced by the game and many got really into it. who knew spoons could be a way to connect despite language and cultural barriers.

i hope to return to agua salada regularly and to continue to improve our system and process for the betterment of the community. providing medical care is a form of social justice and an "area of moral clarity" (to borrow from dr. paul farmer) in terms of how we must share our wealth with the world. it is a situation “rare in the world, where what ought to be done seems perfectly clear. but the doing [is] always complicated, always difficult” (p. 103).

bound for central america

i leave tomorrow for 13 days in a rural, mountainous town in southwest honduras. i will be going with 19 nursing, medical, and social work students (plus a few actual nurses, doctors, and social workers [me]). i am expecting this trip to be exhilarating, exhausting, and life-changing. i came across this quote from anthony bourdain, which i plan to share with our group:
"Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you- it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you… Hopefully, you leave something good behind."
this absolutely sums up my vision for this trip. i know we will have more good done for us than we will do for others and i know we will return bleary-eyed and conflicted about our privileges,  but i believe the gestalt of this trip will be something that will forever alter each of us.

this is a picture of the community where we will spend most of our time

p.s. i really hope the mark this trip leaves on my body is not in the form of chigger bites.

going private

my students just pointed out to me that they can find out a lot about me online. this is alarming to me so i think it is time i make this blog private. if you want me to include you in the permitted readers, i guess i need your email address to be able to allow you to view the blog. so put it in the comments or email it to me and i will set it up.

darn internet. and creeper students.

people, this is happening

oh how i love (and sometimes loathe) pinterest! today, i came across a pin that relates to my life list: swimming with manatees. sure, most people envision swimming with dolphins or whales--and i wouldn't oppose either of those opportunities--but i have always had a special affinity for the sea cow.

pinterest led me to this article in the new york times. apparently november - march is the season for manatees to swim up rivers in florida in search of warmer water. guess what? november - march is also the season lindsey thinks about getting the heck out of this frigid place i currently call home! fate? i think so.

hopefully i can swim with the manatees in kings bay before PETA outlaws this opportunity!

how can you not want to gaze into those little eyes?

picture via 

the progress continues (in photos)

this was our kitchen until about a month ago.
the cupboards, ceilings, and walls were multiple shades of greyish-lilac. 

the counters were a 60's style formica with gold flecks.

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it has been a work in progress, but here are some photos of the journey our last month.

chaos, eh?

getting rid of the not-so-cool retro counter.

we used a heat gun to strip the paint off the cupboards.
i'm sure it wasn't entirely safe, but the 5 layers of paint had to go.

testing out the fit of our butcher block counter before
brandon spent a week and a half sanding, staining, and sealing it.

we painted the inside of the cupboards a sunny yellow and the outside pewter grey.

the lighting here is horrible, but we were very happy to install the counter.
brandon also reworked the center bank of cabinets and installed an outlet inside,
so we could get the microwave out of sight.

i was the fearless (yeah right!) tiler and brandon was my lovely assistant.

this best captures the color of the tile and countertop.
hopefully i can get some more photos in the daylight tomorrow.

the fruit bowl becky got us ties in so nicely with the penny tile!

i really love how it is coming together!

grey cabinets, walnut-stained butcher block counter, cobalt tiles, and blue cabinet knobs.
i love the combination!

we have a few cabinet doors and drawers to finish plus the crown molding to reinstall,
but phase I of the kitchen remodel is reaching the point
where we can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

for comparison's sake. yeah, it's getting much better!

i did it!

remember my intention for february? 

Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out. i did it!

last night brandon, heath, and i were at our favorite local pub when i notice a man come in wearing a coat with st. charles embroidered on the chest. throughout the rest of our time in the pub i debated about approaching this guy and the woman he was with. i didn't want to be creepy, but i also just had a feeling that i should at least say hi. you know, show them some wyoming friendliness?

i swallowed my fear and decided to do something without knowing how it would turn out. after the initial, "how do we know you? oh, we don't" confusion, they were incredibly kind and got very excited to meet someone else from central oregon. we chatted for less than five minutes but i immediately felt like i had known them forever. 

they were in town because their daughter just had their first grandchild. their daughter works at the hospital i work at here in town, only she works nights in the emergency department, so i haven't met her. the woman insisted that her daughter and i would get along great and hopes we can meet. 

when i told them i was a social worker at the hospital, the husband cracked up laughing. turns out the woman is DIRECTOR of social services at st. charles! 

i still get tingly thinking about how that risky situation turned out so gloriously! i'm pretty sure i've got a good "in" should i ever apply to a social work job at st. charles. i am going to get in touch with their daughter and maybe set up a time to go out to coffee. 

isn't that small world incident refreshing? 

making it up as you go

"Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out. You’re curious and smart and bored, and all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. There are so many adventures that you miss because you’re waiting to think of a plan. To find them, look for tiny interesting choices. And remember that you are always making up the future as you go."-Randall Munroe

i tend to be quite safe. a planner. brandon is a lot more comfortable with letting go and seeing what happens. we are good for each other in this way (among many ways). 

the photo above is not my own, but when i came across it on a photo blog i follow, i was immediately taken back to this incredible trip brandon and i went on in our first year of marriage. before the demise of the washington coast (as a result of the tourism twilight has generated) we trekked from seattle west to forks, where we met some of the saltiest people on earth before we set out on a 17-mile backpacking trip down the coast. we climbed up and down suspect ladders and ropes, from sandy beaches to the tops of ocean-side cliffs to washington rain-forests.  in the middle of march, we had 2.5 days of sunshine in the rainiest place in the US (hoh rainforest). it was glorious and unpredictable and invigorating. 

months later we read in backpacking magazine that the worst storm in the history of the area, which killed a backpacker on the exact same route we completed, occurred the night we left the trail. this has always rattled me a bit, in a "it could have been us" way. but it also points to the fact that while plans are important, they can be made in vain.

my intention for february: 

Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out.